A medium sized rooster, Mr M was everyone’s friend, always perfectly turned out and a shining example to all dwelling in his magical garden. He strutted around with a natural grace and dignity that made him shine. Others were always put before himself, and he guarded all, warning of danger, always alert.
He shared his pad with his hens, they were his pride and joy and by his side they accompanied him on every adventure.
There was Mrs M, short and chubby and always into mischief, Old English, a colorful chicken of advanced years, well behaved and very wise, then there was Margo,loosely feathered and scatty as they come.
A whole host of other characters live in and around the cottage garden, we’ll meet those later, but today it’s all about Mr M.
“Cock a doodle doo” squawked Mr M. Nothing. No one moved. I said “COCK A FUCKIN DOODLE FUCKIN DOO, now move your feathery little ass holes”.
Mrs M raised an eye brow, it was still dark. “Will you pipe down a bit you noisy git”, she demanded.
Mr M paraded to and fro along his perch cock a doodling for all he was worth. The entire Parish was awake now but old Mr M carried on regardless.
The farmer, a placid chap, red faced and plump, awakened and rubbing his tired eyes he turned to his loving Wife. “You know my little Pumkiny Wumkiny, one of these mornings I’am going to ring that bastards neck”.
“Oh leave him be and put the kettle on.” Said the farmers wife.
Outside in the garden things were starting to stir,” c’mon everyone, lets have you up, hands on socks and all that”. Mr M’s enthusiasm was slowly rubbing off onto all.
From over the hedge came a voice all recognized “Will some fucka come and help me with this please, I’am mauling my bollocks off”. Yes, it was Billy Bluetit, struggling on his own to raise the gazebo for Kev’s party.
Yes, today was Kev’s birthday, and all the animals were getting together to prepare a bash. There was going to be jelly, icecream, music, and rumour has it 6 prostitutes off Commercial Road were attending, ding dong.
Kev is a grass hopper and he lives next door in the meadow, so space won’t be an issue. That’s why no one invited Brian Cox.
.Kev has been sent to the seaside for the day, to keep him out of the way while his bash is prepared.
Tune into the next gripping episode to find Kevs secret cure for crabs.
Categories: Burning the Midnight Oil